Monday, September 27, 2010

Writing, writing, writing...the endless scribbling of words that would persuade people to be attracted with what you are introducing in the market as some kind of necessity that would enable for them to survive further. That's the fight that I am actually trying to win. But how can I still fight if intimidation precedes defeat? Gahhh! That's so hard!!! 
I used to have that great love for writing when I was still a kid but I don't know what had happened to that passion. I cannot blame others for that incident but myself. Maybe I became too tactless with that skill that I wasn't able to elaborate and enhance it to its fullest. 
I wanted to get that job...but instead of selling myself, i put myself into a trap that let the interviewee sense that I am not so sure about the position. It's just frustrating that I feel hopeless *sigh*. Well, hoping still for a favorable response from them. 

Tuesday, August 17, 2010


I suddenly developed a fetish of cutting my hair much shorter than my previous haircut. I am totally in-love with short hair right now and I want to try every single style of it.
Long before I was still a kid, I used to hate my mom for cutting my hair short...I feel like a boy then. I want to have that long and silky hair that some of my classmates had. My mom used to tell me that long hair doesn't fit me since I was so skinny then (well until now, but the word has already evolved into "petite"). So as soon as I grabbed my liberty of doing so, I was so totally happy. I never gone into parlor at that very moment I received it (I mean I still went there from time to time just to have a trim). I started growing my hair when I was in my "tweeners" (do I spell it right?) going to high school. Having that long hair somehow satisfy me and feel that I am me. I feel so pretty especially during my debut and later at my college graduation. The stylists (2 different men for each occasion) was able to transform me into an elegant lady by giving a nice polish of curls at the end of my long hair.
Not until I graduated from college did I felt how dull and boring I looked like with the long hair. I tried experimenting my looks with shorter ones...and much to my surprise, it fitted me more. I realized that my short hair gave me a more interesting and unique look because few has the gift to jive with the style without looking odd or boyish. The face will glow more because of the emphasis without much covering given by the hair. Not to mention that my hair definitely was rejuvenated and  feel fresh. Yes, it is a total risk cutting it shorter since it requires to step out without any assurance that it will look good at me, and I'm glad it did! 
But the dilemma is, how long will i stay in-love with my short hair? I don't know. But I'm already decided as early as now that I will still grow my hair long especially for my wedding day...years from now!:)

Monday, August 2, 2010


How ironic it is to hear someone who earned a Bachelor's Degree in Communication Arts to be timid and shy when it comes to verbal approaches, and to make things worst than ever is being afraid with the so-called "English".
And so it is, entering into a combat where the battle will be fought and shielded aggressively with this English thing is not a good idea at all. How will you suppose to fight a battle if you aren't able to master yet the techniques? Knowing this facts, I still enter into this combat where the competition is high, almost above ceiling level. I don't know what to expect, just wishing to a shooting star to make a luck work it over for me.
But after sometime, I realized how tough the battles are. I lose almost 70% of my confidence level which helped me through.Though I was a qualified player to fight, there are some duels I have to passed out. I am not as aggressive to fight just like before. I quickly raised my white flag signalling for a humble surrender and defeat. 
I realize I'm not a good writer and speaker in English...actually, there are times that I am having a hard time in expressing myself through words. This shouldn't be the case because a graduate like me in this line of course are expected to be talkative and loud all the time! I don't know what to do. I am in desperate mode. 
Yes, there are moments when I found myself thinking that I earned the wrong education to equipped me in the future. There are moments when I wished for "what ifs" in life. But everytime I do so, I realized this is me. This is where I should really be. Why?! Because even when I was still a kid, I already dreamt of having this. If when being a child I was able to fought for my dreams and fantasy, why shouldn't I be able to do the same thing now especially that i already have what  it takes to be? 
So as you can see, the problem is I am the public enemy of myself. I cannot even start to have even that little first step because I am the greatest critic of myself. I was the one who discourage and sabotage my very own plan. 
But this is not the end of it all. It's not even apocalypse yet, so as long as I am here I know that there is hope to come. I still have the chance of redeeming myself. After all, my English is not bad isn't it?!

Sunday, August 1, 2010

This is my second blog account and I could tell that this one is much different from my previous one since this will be more serious, mature, organize, sophisticated, straight-forward and edgy. Though the other one is more inclined and close to my heart.